Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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