You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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