What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
