Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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