She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
