Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
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