mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
