Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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