Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
