It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
