it hurts more in the daytime
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
