She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
