i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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