My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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