Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
