Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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