She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
