Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
