Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
