so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
