I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
