Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We are all done wearing pants today
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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