btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
