small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
this just has baby written all over it
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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