Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
