Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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