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I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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