return my video game
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
