This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
