Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
