It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
