Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
