In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
