Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
