You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
