please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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