Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
