great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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