i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
