TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
