The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
