Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
