too bad you live with your parents still
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
