I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
