Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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