If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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