Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
