I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
