So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
