O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
