Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
