By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
sex in a hospital.. check
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
