I must be too annoying 4 u.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
