margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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